ARIELLE BREEN: Five things I learned from the books this summer

I think it’s good to have aspirations for who you want to be, what kind of life you want to live – but sometimes we hang on to things that aren’t realistic.

I had started working to better understand who I am as a person, what I really am into, and what material things I could let go of, especially over the past two years.

For me, it’s generally easy to drop things. I sometimes call myself minimalist because I hate clutter, but there are also those non-physical things that we tend to wear on our identities that don’t always correspond to the reality of our lives.

In “There are no adults: a coming-of-age story” by Pamela Druckerman, the author is an American journalist in her forties living in France. Her memoir addresses this decade of her life and what she learned from her personal experiences, but also discussing with other people going through the same period and also comparing cross-culturally.

One part that struck me about the book revolved around ambitious calculations.

“This new timeline prompts a calculation – sometimes painful – between our ambitious and real lives. The wrong things we have been saying for years are starting to ring hollow,” one part of the book read. pretend to be what we are not. At forty, we no longer prepare for an imaginary future life, nor to nibble gashes in our resumes. Our real lives are undoubtedly unfolding right now. We have come to the point that the German philosopher Immanuel Kant called the Ding an sich – the thing itself.

It’s something I can relate to, and it hasn’t been so much a struggle to come to terms with who I am, but rather just a layered process of getting there.

2. Prioritize the things you want to accomplish

These concepts are sort of related to the book in the middle of which I’m currently titled “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think” by Laura Vanderkam.

I’ve been listening to Vanderkam’s “Before Breakfast” podcast for about a year now and I love the way she breaks things down in a logical fashion.

I find it hard to hide a look of disgust every time a friend says the phrase “I wish I could” fill in the blank with any activity.

The point is, most of the time, these friends could actually accomplish this thing – they would just need to make it a priority in their schedules or finances. These are not crazy and unattainable goals for members of my group of friends.

I remember hearing “Oh, I wish I could visit another country”, “I would love to speak another language”, “I wish I could read more books”.

But the point that emerges from Vanderkam’s book and podcast is that there’s a lot of leeway in how we approach what we have time for and what we don’t.

This way of thinking appeals to me because I’m not a fan of excuses and I like logical approaches that say it’s possible and reframe it so that we can use that information.

3. The person we want to be starts with steps

“Alone in the Wilderness” was a backpacking memoir that I really enjoyed this summer. I am the author, Christine Reed, on Instagram and saw that she released her book earlier this year.

She takes readers on her hiking trip on the Wonderland Trail that circles Mt. Rainier National Park. She talks about the mixed feelings of wanting to be independent, of struggling with her ambitious self, of losing her mother, of the friends you meet on the trail, and of self-acceptance.

One quote that resonated was, “I wanted to be the woman who hiked the Appalachian Trail. This woman could continue to walk when her legs were tired, the air was thin and her skin was burnt. So that’s what I did. Because the woman I wanted to be couldn’t exist until I did these things. She was counting on me to make it happen.

Half the time it’s a fight just to do the things you aspire to, but once you get there, it can be as easy as putting one foot in front of the other and taking the next step, and the following.

4. Are we craving more things?

In a Different Genre is one of my favorite new Leigh Bardugo “Shadow and Bone” series. It got me back into the fantasy genre after a long hiatus.

I watched the Netflix series and then devoured the books and although they are different, I love them both for different reasons.

Regardless, the series focuses on Alina Starkov and we get a bit of everything like adventure, drama, romance, magic, creatures, etc.

She’s rambling, orphaned, she definitely has a crush on her friend, there’s a looming civil war, pirates (who actually identify as privateers), mythical creatures, and much more.

But one quote that stuck with me long after reading the series was, “The problem with desire… is that it makes us weak.

I have seen too many times that the desire for something just becomes a problem. How many times have we seen this when the Amazon boxes are stacked on the porch and our bank account is lighter and that little bit of happiness is fading away?

How many times have we focused our desire for something, someone, or some aspect of life that we don’t have but want? How good is it for us?

I have been intrigued by Japanese Buddhist cuisines in recent years due to a similar concept. It’s great to feed ourselves on things that we need and enjoy, but there comes a time when it’s just a bunch of cravings, be it treats, things just out of our reach, or whatever. above our pay level or whatever. Why not take the time to appreciate what we have and assess whether the thing we want is really worth it.

5. Let’s set health limits

Grace Bonney’s “In the Company of Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Makers, Artists, and Entrepreneurs” is more of a table book that I love to read and watch on weekends and relax but also feel a little inspired by the variety of career paths and leadership roles that women can assume.

It’s a book filled with photos of women, their workspaces and then it’s done in the form of questions and answers.

These women have roles in careers such as design, songwriting, artists and curators.

The ones I identify with the most are writers like Janet Mock who is a writer and television host in New York.

I had noticed that with so many columns that I read from former colleagues in newspapers or elsewhere, it seemed to me that the best were always more open, letting the reader in and not holding back even when it was uncomfortable. . Being vulnerable seemed like something some were capable of doing well.

But even though the best column I’ve read was a moving description of a former colleague’s experience going through a long-standing illness he had – I still like having some sort of limitation personally.

This quote from Janet Mock said it all: “One mistake I made early in my career as a public writer was to be a little too open and transparent. I learned that I had to create boundaries – clear and demanding – that I wouldn’t cross until I was really ready to share things publicly. It was an early mistake that made me realize that not all of me was for public consumption. “

Arielle Breen is the associate editor of the Manistee News Advocate. She can be reached at [email protected] or by leaving a message at 231-398-3109.

MORE FROM ARIELLE BREEN

• Manistee transplant baffled by disconnection with longtime residents

• The year is halfway through, what’s on your summer list?